amir, hawa gemok tak.

kalau down. ambik gambar diri sendirii.....!! :)

you should go shopping with me you know.

How yummy are these. I saw. I grabbed. I hugged. And now they are officially mine.
:D :D :D

The philosophy of "ada aku kesah?".

We love contradicting stance. We just love it, like these


1 Malaysia = We are all same and equal but we consist of different species.

I am half liberal and half conservative

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So, I'll start with today's rant with the topic of:

The extensive philosophy of "ada aku kesah".

The first time I heard this phrase was back in 2009. I think it was during July, when there were lots of events, bringing Malaysian students studying in Australia together in Sydney. There were also lots of other Malaysians that came over for holidays and joining the winter events.

That's usually the time, we usually exchange current malay lingo and buzz words among our students. Keassabiahan malay students in Melbourne are more profound and it shows when their excessive use of certain words eventually penetrates to other states.

You know, the excessive use of words like 'boleh relax tak' 'terbaik' 'ke' 'dowh' 'down'. Since its overseas, with a knit tight bunch of students, the waves of buzz words are more pronounced, rather than a mixture of all like back in Malaysia.

So, back to that July 2009, that's when I first heard "ada aku kesah". Which annoyed me to death the first time I heard it.

It means 'do you think i care?'.
It is an extreme attempt by malays to show that they are not 'bizi bodi'.

"Ada aku kesah" is said in the most sarcastic tone you could ever imagine. Some people include more annoying facial expression, like an i don't care attitude.
It is used by people who 'kononnya' don't care.
It actually has a question mark to it and it's a yes or no question in malay. But no answer is expected.
So, if someone, says 'ada aku kesah' don't go and answer it.


"Jeles? Ada aku kesah?"
[jeles ke.. wahaha padan muka kau jeles. in your face. kau jeles pun. kalau kau nak jeles, aku tak kisah. tapi padan muka. segala apa yang kau buat pasni, aku kisah sangat2. because, i'd be so happy for whatever shit that happens to you.]


"si polan dah break ngan si polan. sebab dot dot dot.. ada aku kisah? hahahha"

So 'kisah' here as in care.. actually has nothing to do with not being nosy.

1. What happens is, people who use it or the subpopulation of people who uses it usually thinks they have a don't mind attitude. And pridely tells his/her friend about their stance.
Like, you can do whatever you want, it's a free country and I won't mind.
2. In actuality, it's you can do whatever you want; I care because other people's drama are so interesting to be gossiped about and whatever shit that you fall into I won't care. I care about your drama, but I don't care what happens to you if you fall into a deepshit.

I've read a blog, it wrote something like;

Kita harus menerapkan, mentality 'ada aku kesah' dan jangan bizi body...

The usage of those string of words, was a bit contradictory. Triggered me to hate it even more.

"ada aku kesah"
-sounds tabloid.
-doesn't help human kind
-creates enemies
-indenial

So now, why it went viral? I would guess.

1. It's a trend thing. like how 'gitu2' was everywhere during the early 00s.. TV is also a media for this phrase, used by the _____ _____ azwan ali.
He tried to look cool, by saying 'ada aku kesah' about the trash people talk about him. But it didn't work. It would never work for him. And I turned off the tv.
2. It is a form of escapism. Were taught since kindergarten 'mengajak kebaikan,dan menghalang kejahatan' where kejahatan and keburukan which some parts are relatively different to the larger scale of earth, molded by rapidly evolving societies, constrained by religion and adat2 traditional and privacy is one of the last things people in our country fight for. So in defense of being stereotyped by the people around them after mentioning a contradicting statement, choosing 'ada aku kesah' to close up the sentence is perfect.

I know its a year too late to write about this. But just wanted to get it out of my mind.
What do you think?

Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it.

oku pond 140210

on eating alone: try being a girl at night

I couldn't have noticed it clearer until I came here. How asians love being in groups. Maybe sydney doesn't count since its already 'infested' by 'us'. Here, its pretty common seeing someone walking alone, eating alone. But not for the bunch of asians, they'll usually be in fours or even sevens. Its too clear not to notice the difference.

In Malaysia, people stare at you when you eat alone. Its not a common thing to do, so its not a common sight to see. Even if people aren't staring at the person eating alone, the person who's eating alone would get conscious like people are actually looking at them and get all fidgety.

experimented eating out alone for the past 2 months because 1. I wasn't working. 2. I don't cook (its a waste cooking alone) 3. I was living only with my dad who also doesn't cook was kinda busy last month. 3. Got to a point, asking friends to eat out with me, was too time consuming.
Breakfast lunch and dinner.

So eating mamak was the perfect option for a lazy bum who doesn't mind curry. Almost every other night when I don't have dinner with my dad or any other plans. I walk across the street and eat at the most famous kayu nasi kandar in the whole wide malaysia. At around 8 to 9 pm...
Occasionally later, maybe 12 to 1 am.

This is when I get to see people's reaction.

Location: tipikal malaysian mamak
Subject: a girl alone late at night
Type of experiment :observational

What I gathered.

1. I guess people will look. I won't say stare. but look for maybe an extra 3 seconds than usual.
2. everything is usual, until I start eating. because the moments before I eat, people usually assume or guess I'm waiting for someone else. *This is for the people who actually bothered. People who don't actually care are not included in this observation.
3. I would say, mamak at night.. excluding families. has a ratio men to women around 5:1
Maybe more distorted as 9:1 when there's a good game that is.
4. It takes an oblivious person not to know people are talking about you or just a mere mentioning with a glance.
5. Men eating alone is much acceptable, I could see people don't care.

Its a simple thing but, how its accepted between sex is so different.
Less women go out late at night, because it is less acceptable even by other women aka moms and makciks. And I think people assume that it is a norm that women don't go out late at night just because you are a women in malaysia. For people using safety issues, I still think its such a sexist idea. The people who judge has nothing to do with safety. Nobody goes to mamak, melalui lorong2 gelap unless you are crazy.
I talked so much only to come to that point.

Next pembebelan which will soon come is how i HATE people using 'ada aku kesah'.

Sorry, for certain things i admit i'm a hater.

cowboy country

howdy dowdy

oh man. lama gila journey. tambah dengan right a day before mengada nak turun kl then naik penang dengan bas. inclusive semua transits yang seboleh2 nya minimum. 35 jam. dalam plane sahaja pun 25 jam. Finally I made it! dengan anxiety yang tak tentu pasal macam biasa. tu smua dah hilang. so yay. Excited sebab 1. jumpa mak and hanep. 2. 1st time since forever landed here (j to the a to the k to the u and n aka excited.. sorry) 3. sebab reunited dengan kamera2 mainan yang e eh. saya adee rupenye. ok banyak benda nak kena buat. tido and makan pun nak. keluar pun nak. muntah pun nak. diet pun nak. we'll see what happens. Pictures will soon follow.