This is my secret

I thought I was smart
So I tried to stop time

By spinning around,
at a little same spot

So I thought I was smart
Turned out I was not

Spinned too fast to a place of just space

Where I was everyone,
And everyone was me.

Happy and lonely both equally.

my brain feels like exploding again, brain blood and brain tissue everywhere in this room. Plus, not enough oxygen makes me mad.

I'd like to make myself believe that everything is going fine.

(:

Fuh. Fuh. Fuh.

Everything is. everything is. Except hawa demam.

...

visually bingit.

Senyum seindah suria.. membawa cahayaaaaa..... senyum lah dari hatiii duniaa mu berseriiiiiiiiiiii


senyum umpama titiann dalam kehidupannn.. kau tersenyumm.. ku tersenyummmmmm
(ada something tak kena ngn gambar ni)






(insert muka tenuk here)







Kemesraan menguntummmmm................ :D

Hot air balloon - Owl City

I thought I wouldn't fall for this. Like how I would never fall for Farmville.

But this is like a virus.. video by Strawburry17

Too good to ignore. Too annoying to forget.





ps- ok. baru dgr owl city. kenapa tak penah dgr before ni!! masih sempat.. masih sempat. before this year ends..

http://www.myspace.com/owlcity

very very very punctual

One sunny day an incident like this happened for no reason.

Someone said "I am a very very punctual person"

an anonymous philosopher kangkung membidas "You are either punctual or a liar.." .

"Bolehlaa be very punctual, if janji pukul 430, i'll be there at 425" The first person argued.

O oww...seems like that was the wrong button..

"Thats all BULLSHIT. if you come at 425, ur a LIAR. If you come at 435, ur a LIAR"

"Its all LIES!!!!!!! LIESSS!!!!!! Everyone is a fucking liarrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!! FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

The philosopher kangkung screamed so loud, the car exploded and disappeared.

Surprisingly, I am neither of them.
Hahahaha.

blackrose

Tak kisah la bila lahir, eventually akan ada gelombang kapak kejap dalam list lagu2 korang. Selalunya bila masuk asrama or during study, budak2 akan catchup balik lagu kapak zaman ntah mana hala tah.. walaupun dorang tak lahir lagi zaman tu. It fulfills the psychological need orang orang yang merintih kejiwangan. Anyways, lagu kapak terkapak yang mendapat award dari hawa, jatuh kepada lagu cinta abadi blackrose. Corniest cheesiest song ever made in the history of lagu lagu kapak semalaysia.

lagu ni ada semua kriteria utk menjadi lagu kapak berjaya.

1. merayu - lirik lagu yang merintih. Stripping off every piece of ego yang ada dalam lelaki. Most probably akan dinyanyikan oleh lelaki yang baru mengenal erti cinta. Baru becinta first time, terus jatuh and lemah. Dinyanyikan untuk perempuan yang dirasakannya "the one". Tapi sebab baru bercinta 1st time, lelaki ni kemungkinan besar, tidak berpijak pada bumi yang nyata. Tak kira lah, long distance yang tak logic, or darjat tak sama ( zaman skarang, maybe wavelength tak sama, values tak sama, money ke, tapi sebab becinta pejam mata dulu ). The dirty reality tak masuk dalam otak mamat ni lagi.. so die nyanyi lah lagu ni dengan penuh sayu. Biar, kena naik gunung berapi pastu dah smpai atas mati pun takpe. Anything, demi pompuan tu. Suitable utk 'the one' yang agak kurang realistik.

2. sengau - semua lagu kapak kebanyakan sengau. Lagu cinta abadi tidak terkecuali. dinyanyikan oleh lelaki melayu muda yang baru baligh 2-3 tahun. selalunya kurus. Halkumnya bagaikan boleh dicabut. Kesengauan dibuat utk memberikan effect reverb natural dalam peti suara. Cara yang bagus utk mendapatkan suara yang sedap. Sambil memberikan effect2 dramatis dalam lagu, kerana penyampaian yang merayu.. Muka mamat ni pun agak2 macam hati kering, tapi menitik jugakla air mata jantan sambil peluk bantal lepas habis lagu ni. Bukan menangis sebab apa pun, sebab rindu dan sayang yang teramat2.

3. progression lagu melayu tipikal - standard lagu melayu. 1 saat dah cukup utk mengconfirm kan ni lagu melayu kapak. ok correction, not because die tipikal, tapi sebab dia pioneer.. uuuu...

4. baju- leather tights and rambut panjang ketak. tapi video ni video karoke jee...

Yay. jom gelak kat lagu2 yang hawa dgr. tengok kat last.fm box hawa yang bawah kanan ni...
haha.. last song dgr, lagu dangdut memori daun pisang. tak hip langsung. har har har. tu pun zaman bile tah......


(ni nama nya.. posting drafts banyak2)

ikan ikan hensem

Self awareness....

hawa nye self awareness, im not too sure. Seriously no idea how people really think of me.
Kadang2 perasan sangat, kadang lowest self esteem ever. So basically, xde idea sangat. I think this will come with maturity, slowly lah im getting there. Nak jadi confident in a good way.

Everytime tengok video of myself, i dont really like it. So maybe tu, petunjuk that im not there where im comfortable with myself yet. Ntah..

Some people sngt lah sedar of how they want to be perceived by society. Mcam stengah orang, they want to be seen, as humble and low profile. So orang2 mcm ni cuba utk tanak blagak.. cakap politely and merendah diri.

But when self awareness tak berapa ada, the outcome they want, sometimes x menjadi..

"saya ni tak sberapa lah sbenarnya, study kat us je... saya ada ni je.. tu jee... dan this and that JE"

which last2 bunyi dia mcam belagak. padahal motif asal nak merendah diri.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on another note, hawa penah blajar pasal self awareness ikan..
sebagai seekor ikan yang lahir2... dorang takde idea rupa diri dia sendiri macamana...
sebab ikan punya mata dekat tepi kepala pastu ikan takde tangan n kaki so die mmg tanampak la die sndiri tu apa sbenarnya.

Tapi sebagai seekor ikan, dia tau la die ikan...
cuma, dia takkan tahu.. how attractive diri dia sendiri unless dia mencuba nasib dengan mengorat ikan lain.

Die akan tahu kedudukan kehenseman die sendiri, through rejection.
Sebab ikan2 jantan akan cuba mengorat ikan paling lawa skali dalam group dulu..pastu mencuba nasib.. lama2 through rejection dan acceptance. dia tau la dia nye kedudukan dlm tangga masyarakat ikan kat mana.

Mcam humans jugak la kan. Tapi manusia ada cermin. so cerita nya lain sedikit.



ps- i noticed, hawa dah naik sronok membebel. if bosan please tell ok. :)

problems.

I've made a small new resolution.
If I can make people happy with a small amount of effort, I would do that.
If I don't have enough money for a homeless person, I'd give them a smile instead.

We all know, malaysians are kiasu.. its something that is predetermined in our blood of asians.
I can understand it if the basis of kiasuness, is because of money, pangkat or something along that line. Because there's something to compete for. Yeah, so fine in these cases there is an aim, to win and not lose.

What is so wrong about being a shithead kiasu, is you want, and you feel happy when other people lose. This is the bit that I don't get. Why do you want other people to lose, even if she/he is in a totally different game. Why are you putting so much effort being such a kepoci and penyebok kepala bapak, when that amount of effort is best used for real things to make you really happy. Just let a healthy competition go on. The effort of doing something that useless, is in fact duh useless.

This is about another thing I've observed. Its about how malaysians treat the homeless or people who beg for money. So basically, ada 2 options, either you give money to the person or you don't give anything. But bila tak bagi duit... people are afraid of the eye contact. Sboleh2 takleh buat eye contact. Even parents teach this to their children, when they pass a homeless guy. Saying 'jangan pandang, jangan pandang'. and sometimes, you could see people change lanes when they see a homeless so they dont have to give anything.. I dont think this is right.

This taught me 2 things,

1. I will smile and be friendly whenever I can
2. unfortunate people deserve an acknowledgment, even if you dont have money to give, and hence i will smile.


which led me thinking about some other things. haha. bare with my pembebelan. you can stop reading here if you want.

1. why do we run away from fucking problems that you think you'll end up giving up on.
kalau tak paham, i'll use the org mintak sedekah analogy. Kenapa kita takut nak face (look into mata org minta sedekah tu) problem, sebab kita takut kita kesian sangat pastu kena bagi duit dngan rasa terpaksa.

another example analogy,
there is this girl, who's very afraid that she'd let go her iman. so she dropped evolution class.

The similarity between the 2 anologies ialah..

1. running away from a problem,
2. because you know (or afraid) you'll fall for it if you face it.

isnt that so wrong?????!!!! yee wronggg kannnn. kan kan.

fuh.

Irrawaddy dolphin

The Irrawaddy dolphin. Comelnya. Baru tahu dia wujud. Cute spasm kejap.

via telegraph uk

experience and life

Yet again i cried. I have only one life to live, and only my story to experience.

how does it feel like being born into a filthy rich family?
how does it feel like being poor?
how does it feel like being super famous?
how does it feel like being born with a disability?
how does it feel like growing up in a place that I have no idea of like being a kid in North Korea?
how does it feel like being someone else?
how does it feel like being you?

Asking how, is actually pointless.

What is for sure, I will never be able to experience another life than this.

Love Hate metre. Extreme yang membahayakan.

WOW. i finally got it.

Suka sesangat and benci sesangat sebenarnya2.... adalah entiti yang sama. I figured it out, during a cherry and berry session (if you know what i mean). Ok, so sbenarnya2 dua2 ni aim dan tujuannya sama, iaitu kearah keconfusan...... Cuma pathway dia sahaja yang berlainan..

Kalau kita suka sesangat, dia akan go through path suka> sukaaaa> suka sesangat>confuse

Kalau benci sesangat, dia go through path benci>benciiiiiiiiii>benci sesangat>confuse

so, bila smpai tahap confuse, slowly perasaan akan pegi ke equilibrium iaitu dekat bahagian normal, takde perasaan, indifference.

Suka apa or benci apa? can be anything... mawi ke sitinurhaliza ke ex boyfriend, tv series, ehem2 hawa ke... or makanan ke mcm durian blacan.. dan memacam lagi.....

So, stelah mendapat epiphany pasal teori ni, i came out with a love hate meter. Kalau tengok movie donny darko, ada Love and Fear metre. Hanya Donny Darko je yang prasan flaws meter ni. Tapi masalahnya, Donny didnt solve it. Disinilah hawa datang.. menyelamatkan dunia. Hahahahaha....

by hawayou

Kuasa2 nature akan menarik kearah keconfusan sebab tu adalah puncak kestabilan. Macam kalau campak guli dalam mangkuk, last2 dia akan ketengah jua. Tapi analogy yang ni tak tepat snagat, sebab actually kebencian dan kesukaan boleh begerak dan pusing...

So ni adalah reason, kenapa kita takleh berperasaan terlalu extreme terhadap sesuatu, sebab beberapa pixel sahaja dr love hate meter bahagian extreme, you'll reach the other side.

Pastu selalunya... SELALUNYA.... kalau perasaan tu dah melintasi line of confusion dan pergi ke perasaan yang sederhana (bahagian kuning = equilibrium). Dia takkan berpatah balik kepada perasaan yg di begin with dulu tu. Ha Ha Ha Ha... Sape makan cili pedas lah besok pagi nya...

Lesson, jangan berperasaan begitu extreme, bahaya. Bahaya if ending dia bukan yang kita mahu. Tapi kalau tak kisah, dah dah paham pattern ni... go ahead.

Boleh apply dekat orang becinta, ber BFF yang annoying ohmaigat, kepada hoby, minat kat penyanyi or genre lagu ke ape2 ke...

If you master the pattern, boleh control action kita menjadi lebih cool bebanding orang lain. pastu kalau kita go against meter ni.. orang lain akan. OH wow.. dia ni bukan manusia tipikal. wow cool nya minah/mamat ni..

Sekian utk sesi merepek bersama hawayou. Oh yeah.

kakak ku pulang dari kota

balik2..

hon kereta kancil kena modify jadi hon lori.

kereta kecil warna merah.. bunyi POONNNNN PONNNNN.. kalah lori.

rasa lawak sangat smpai kuar air mata. kereta kodok tak sedar diri.

semua keje farid anak si seman.

satu juta pants

Change of plan. When I reach home, i'm not going out for 2 weeks. The sun wont see me.
Anti-solarium. Anti-social. Anti-establishment.

gell

Most people go through thissss...now its my turn. Nothing new. But I dont know what to

feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll....

Jiwa kejangggg.. hamaigat hamaigat. nafas2....

sincerely,

minah gelabah gel hell bab sap kok lu

ps- ye, passport saye temasuk dalam shipping boxes. i want to cry. but that is a good excuse to stay here longer. tapi kenot jugak sebab, dah beli tiket bsambung. aduh.

Shoot me now.

cake

via Sabrina

Hah hah hah. It turned out pretty pretty in pictures....

12.06

1. good friends dont greet with 'sombong nampak skang ni'
2. if you are in a group, you'll think like the group.
3. over analyzing kills
4. analyzing is actually gossiping
5. the real answer could be the simplest explanation
5. minding your own business is usually better than 'i'm telling you this for your own good'
6. Either be punctual, or say sorry i cant make it. No in betweens.
7. tolerate and menegakkan hak diri sendiri dont mix well
8. do not shut other people's dream, let them speak and explore while they're talking
9. do not whisper in front of other people, even if ur not talking about them
10. everyone judges, the difference is when saying it out loud or if it affects how you act.
11. smile whenever you can.

these are just statements. not rules or advices. lets see how it'll change again in 3-4 years.

Baking FFFFUUUUU

I love this thread so much, I made one myself.

jenguk lalat comel jap antara kali terakhir

nak g jenguk lalat comel jap. masukkan dalam bekas and kawen paksa kan mereka.
kawen kawen kawen. pastu anak besepah.

4 cewek canggih - ai ini milik you cover

nyanyi lagu ni dah lebih sminggu dah.

orang yang paling bengkak telinga, of course shafini aka rumet.

jom nyanyi sama2....

cover ai ini milik you oleh hawa and hawa dengan penuh gedik.





Bukan ku tak sayang

Bukan ku tak cinta

Bukan ku tak suka

Aku milik engkau

Ku milik dirimu

Ai ini milik you


Punya pacar cerewet

Suka sekali ungkit ungkit

Cemburunya selangit

Tapi duit tidak pelit


Berulang-ulang sudah kubilang

Bukan tak sayang kepada abang

Tetapi memang rasanya kesal

Karena abang selalu bimbang


Berapa lama kita bercinta

oh masih juga abang curiga

Apa enaknya tak dipercaya

Kalau berjumpa tak pernah mesra


kalau nak download ke nak remix balik ke or nak ugut kredibiliti bila hawa jadi politician. sila2... right click save as.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/1818390/inimilikyouhawa.mp3

alasan

this was in my brain.

1. bake a blue cake.
2. mash it up with sour cream.
3. turn them into small balls
4. put sticks
5. dip in colored white chocolate.
6. the cake pop

last2, i forgot to put the coloring. i baked the cake at 375 celcius instead of 375 F (150 celcius!) and the kitchen is in a big mess.

semua sebab layan lagu wann sambil record sambil berangan sambil masak sambil nyanyi sambil twitter dan sambil macam2.

buat mende lain lagi bes. mcam lukis and berangan.

hari tu masa kat sunday market. nampak ade makcik ni jual basikal. banyak. dekat 10 basikal sekehem. hawa guarentee 100%, bet bape juta ribu ringgit.. tu semua basikal curi. ksian budak2 student basikal asyik hilang. makcik tu besubahat. gerenti. tak kire nak judge terus. dan malas nak besangka baik. terlalu dodgy.



ketika pencahayaan buda, hawa menyebok. dan smpat vain.

banyak sangat bende tekumpul i donno where to start

bunuh daging by hawayou

kalau geram. tikam lah daging steak. argh. FU.

selamat pagi

haa. penat taip. rupenye masuk blog lain. yang rupa dia sebijik macam ni. title pun sama. content je lain. for adult audiences. ha ha ha. takde ah. anyways lantak je la.

takde, hawa bising kenapa banner kemek. and tanak tau solution. sbb malas.

and skarang. jumpa new internet addiction. which is www.reddit.com thread FFFUUU die mcm sial

ops dah pukul 8.

bye hawa. i love you.

perfecto

power mata naik by hawa

kadang2,

yang pandai, xde kawan.

yang baik, pemalu.

yang hensem, miskin.

yang kaya, hodoh.

yang kurus, flat.

yang confident, annoying.

yang macho, pervert.

yang fit, pendek.

yang perfect, mesti takkan perfect pun sebenarnya.

kalau hawa pandai kemas bilik, hawa dah bukan manusia dah.

mana ada orang yang perfect dalam dunia ni kan.

haha.

ai ini milik you aww.... dangdut ibu jari

Jumpa Gedik Queens original. buahaha...

jagung2

Tinggal sebulan sahaja lagi. Semakin hari semakin corny. Dulu cakap kat orang lain, relaks lah. Sekarang kena kat batang hidung sendiri.

Sydney life will soon be a past tense.

..

i shud have done this in a better font. anyways.

ps- can you see it? tilt your laptop or your head.

Alaaaa down. overall marks lagi rendah. Malas la nak merayu. geram je. ROARRRR ROARRRR..

nasihat time

emoness and creativity has gone with the wind....

tiap kali tefikir idea for projects.. baring2.. brangan2... sedar2 tido 18 jam.

aa.. besnya. takde pressure. tak marah2... tp at the same time of course lah tak productive.

kasi can dekat badan. sbb dah guna smpai titik peluh dan darah yang terakhir.

nasihat dari budak bajet :

Kalau ada azam, selagi boleh push sampai mati... kita push sampai mati.

kepada adik2 buat spm, takpayah la tergedik nak rest sehari sebelum exam sebab nak rest kan

otak lepas study bebulan2....

kepada budak2 yang nak buat exam kat uni pun sama.... jangan tido. jangan makan...

minum livita, redbull, mother bebotol2... adalah tangga kejayaan.

makan masa study je. dan time makan bukan lah event... exam week, takpayah buat laundry. tak sempat.. biar 5 minggu tak cuci takpe... demi pelajaran dan markah yang kita puja2 hasil pendidikan malaysia.

Kata pujangga manusia paling kiasu tapi baik hati dalam dunia ialah

Setiap SAAT adalah MARKAH....

kalau kamu berpegang pada kata2 emas ini, nescaya kejayaan milik kamu!!!!!!!

personaliti... kawan2... semua tu tak penting... boleh campak lombong semua tu.

yang penting markah ya!! markah!. 1 markah adalah membezakan pandangan orang lain terhadap kamu.

either bodoh atau pandai...

sakit jantung ke... liver collapse pun tak pe. togok je air2 kekuatan bersama semua pill2 tu...

yes.

itu lah caranya...

usaha tangga kejayaan.

Lagu untuk kakak

Thanks Amir for the songggggg!!!

I likeee it!!! Dah dengar bejuta kali.

Ni lagu amir reka utk hawa. sweett siot. mane ade adik dalam dunia buat lagu khas untuk kakak dia yang annoying lagi gemok

Lirik yang "sebelum hawa jadi, malas macam babi" haha.. menusuk kejantung kalbu. sebab, tak banyak orang tahu perangai hawa kat rumah macamana.

haha.

pening ah.

Burung di ufuk biru....

Misai pakcik jual milo...

Unibrow anak madonna..

Huruf M yang kembang...

Huruf W yang tebalik yang kembang...

Peluh orang duduk atas simen lepas main futsal...

Nasi ayam misai...

ginger tea

Where do MILKSHAKES come from?????????????????????????????

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

EXCITED COWS.......! (sambil gerak2 kan badan excited)

oh and some humans too.....

ok la. to be exact, from all lactating mammals who are excited.

soy milkshake, is not considered as milk this joke.

cricket cricket

.
.
.
.
.
.


Someone asked me to taste some ginger tea.

So now I have a talent. I can do a


GINGER WIND RAP.

imagine, this is a new blog.

Baru ingat nak buat blog baru. Transfer yang ni dgn nama lain.

tapi takpelah tak jadi.

so,

mulai bintik ini --->>>>> . <<<------------

treat blog ni sbagai blog baru.. sebab tah. Geli.

yuck yuck.

Haha. This is not doing any good. I know. Haha.

THE END.

random chatting history with fini

random chatting history with fini OUT OF CONTEXT.

Fini comel (8/17/2007 8:30:43 AM): honey kt mane eh?
hawayou (8/17/2007 8:30:47 AM): aa aaa.. siannye fini x mkn smalm
-----------
hawayou (5/13/2007 9:16:35 AM): yekeee
hawayou (5/13/2007 9:16:37 AM): hahahhha
Fini comel (5/13/2007 9:16:38 AM): hawa dah berak lum?
hawayou (5/13/2007 9:16:38 AM): kesiannye
hawayou (5/13/2007 9:16:41 AM): belummm :(
hawayou (5/13/2007 9:16:41 AM): hehehe
-------------
hawayou (4/15/2007 11:55:32 AM): yesss
Fini comel (4/15/2007 11:55:45 AM): td dah berak
Fini comel (4/15/2007 11:55:46 AM): ahah
hawayou (4/15/2007 11:56:01 AM): hehehe good
---------------
Fini comel (4/25/2007 10:42:37 PM): tp aku nk mandi dlu.. rasa busuk
hawayou (4/25/2007 10:42:45 PM): samala...
hawayou (4/25/2007 10:42:52 PM): busuk gile.
hawayou (4/25/2007 10:43:00 PM): ok. pas mandi.. kite buat
hawayou (4/25/2007 10:43:05 PM): fini naik atas a nnti
Fini comel (4/25/2007 10:43:12 PM): ok2
Fini comel (4/25/2007 10:43:20 PM): nak sabun
hawayou (4/25/2007 10:43:25 PM): boleh2

and the most important news at 2 in the morning.

hawayou (4/20/2007 2:03:09 AM): fini, sanjaya dah kena buang keluar

What would this year be without you.

bidak bidak di papan catur iblis

After uni ends, I'll start on some of my thought social experiment.

Akan ku kawal manusia seperti mengawal biduk biduk syaitan di papan catur.

I remembered the first book of conspiracy I read when I was sevennn.... Buku bahasa melayu,

tajuk die Biduk Biduk Setan kot. Cite pasal camane yahudi control world banks and some other stuff macam dalam doco Zeitgeist.

Oh impact buku tu sangat besar when I was small, sebesar impact cite hantu kat budak kecik.

Agak men-distort how I viewed the world until i learned to be more logic

Oh I just did a search. Buku tu bahasa melayu lama/indo ish sket...

So nama tajuk sebenar nye ialah

Bidak bidak di papan catur iblis

ooooo.. baru tau now, its actually a translation from a book/speach by William Guy Carr titled

Pawns in the Game (1958)

00000000000000hhhhh!!!!! lagi..buku niii keee....so i've read this book. haha.. only it was in BM.

Link to the whole book (ur welcome, I know I'm very convenient)

some blogging nonsense.

Yay!

Finally a bit of time for some blogging nonsense.

Uhh no idea.. urhh...ok2..I'll prompt myself then. Ok cik hawayou, list things that are in ur 50cm radius.

1. laptop duh
2. printer duh
3. mangkuk
4. caviar dip (uuuuuuuuuuu like that tv show)
5. foundation
4. that weird sunnies i wasted my money on.
5. hair curler
6. evening primrose oil. This year made my hormones go haywire
7. that aztec biscuit
8. a guitar
9. two pool sticks
10. Laundry soap
11. paper paper paper
12. bottles of blue pop tops drink
13. wires wires wires.
14. asam kecut
15. a heater
16. other stationary that are too boring to mention
*Significance is indicated in bold (P<0.05)

semak dowwww...berok habis


biskut aztec. zek soh cicah biskut ni ngan darah.. humba humbaaa..

how hey

It's weird that people don't hate me.

With my current attitude of bitchiness and being such a narcissist, people should hate me.

Kamon kamon, hate me dude...

:)

Stare me in the eyes for 5 minutes. You'll be in love.

hypothetically..

This is a hypothetical question.

IF, your religion is proven wrong,

would you change yours?

IF

Tell me if I'm wrong for even asking.

yow joze. (jowww hozeyy)

I am sorry I have nothing good to share. Except for the fact I'm extremely bz.

Again..

The process i'm going through right now is called. RETARDATION.

no offense to real retards.

pastu, when i'm busy, there is this word that pops out of my head quite often.

The word is FUCKTARD.

I was trying to make a joke out of it. Macam.. what do you get if you have sex while eating custard.

a fucktard? haha. Another variation is.. something along the line of fuckturd.

haha.. not funny. But it was funny for me. I'm still trying to figure out how that works. I'm open

to ideas.

Rasa macam budak laki 15 tahun tulis post ni. Yang baru nak blajar Science Bab 1..

asparagus

I have tested.....

kelajuan asaparagus dissolve dlm air buangan.

20 minutes minimum.

My god, i can see what this year is turning me into.

Tamauuu look back. this is the horror.

sick man.. sick...

say you say me

inspired by lisa simpson and what was the band called. cant remember. die nyanyi fakta.


this sucks. definitely not for everyone. especially if ur on the verge of hating me.

lalala

Ade org ckp, selain hawa, semua benda dalam dunia nampak fake.

haha. helooo wrong person!!! tanampak ke I am the fakest person available to say that to.

tak nampak ke hiprokrasi yang terpancar dari ruang mata hawe..

hipokrasi yang mengalir dalam darah,

talam bermuka muka comel....

suck up terteruk dalam dunia....

pengexaggerate,

penambah kicap,

pengcreate segala drama..

dalang kepada pegerakan biduk biduk syaitan (omaigat over)

pentakde balls nak cakap depan mata sebab nak cover image,

pemegang tali temali boneka

drama segala cereka rama (kecuali nur kasih)

pengkipas bonbon, dan sebagai nya?

haih... please la baca body movement kalau ye pun....

ps-tp yg ni tulen ni bwanggggg

Exophthalmos

ok smenjak, zarin comment pasal grave's disease. i have a habit of pin pointing sape2 yang ade the same condition... somehow, comment tu macam ade basis.

bfore ni main teka2 sape jawa

'ni comfem jawe nih. nak bet bape juta' dan lain2...

so skang main teka, sape ade Exophthalmos. (org yg ade condition ni je boleh buat lawak ni, sile jangan ikut)

commonly bende ni simtom2 sape ade grave's disease ialah seperti mata tebeliak. tido mata tak tertutup and hyper thyroid kot. mata tebeliak sbb weak eye muscles.

i can confirm yg hawa takde grave's disease, or kalau ade pun degree yg sangat weak sbb thyroid tak hyper. sbb kalau hyper mesti dah kurus. so dah lama bleh jadi model n at the same time bole makan banyak..

die ckp ade high heredity component so lagi la logic....fmly ade yg hyperthyroid n sbb kalau balik kampung. sederet org2 mata sepesen. wiki la yg ckp..

then,
If left untreated, exophthalmos(mata tebeliak n weak eye muscles) can cause the eye lids to fail to close during sleep leading to corneal dryness and damage.

meaning! slama ni, kalau tetido with contacts combine dengan eyelids tak rapat. jadi laaa macam haritu.. keras macam kaca kot. pff sakit gilaa ouchhhh....

ok tu je la. cite ni takde klimaks.

hanye ade anti klimaks. macam ni. bye.

ilutmmmmmmm :P

wuu bes nye raya!
takyah fikir keje.
takyah fikir masak...
takyah fikir gemok..
nom nom nom
pastu banyak budak kecik comel n familiess..
wiiwiwiiii...
pastu nyanyi nyanyi nyanyi... wiwiwiwiwiwiiii...

tadi ade makcik ni nyanyi.. sedap. tp yg horror nye confidence die.
ha ha okwed.

adekah hawe akan jadi mcm tu bile umur 50. harrr har.

eventhough kat sini,

raye ni dpt makan rendang, lemang, durian, kuih laksa, nasi kerabu, nasik dagang, durian dan macam macam lagi. smue yg teringin dpt makan.

smalam makan tapai ubi. nyam nyam.

tapi hari ni bangun kul 11. pfft. rase rugi. kena tido lambat la malam ni....

okla tipu. takla depress sngat. NOT. skang nama nye NUMB. takde prasaan.
har har skang boleelaa kate. kejap lagi mati tekujat la tu.

oh n tadi n tadi.. makan laksa ade petis. bubuh petis 2 sudu besar pekat likat lekit tp hitam sedap.

okwed la sbenanye nak taip rasa ape. sbb satu, tak biasa. dua sbb tak cukup vocab.

getah baju kurung ni macam ketat. bebintat la pinggang.

bye.

presentation

quest

bebelan x penting

Don't be too quick on judging, especially if you don't know the whole story.

I want to and am still searching for it.

The only question is, when will i or will i even find the answer?

carbon copy

bulls and dogs

Lying is when you know the truth, and yet you tell the opposite.

When, bullshitting, not only you don't know the truth, you don't even CARE.

or maybe you think you cared, you think you know

but by fact you

actually don't.

"bullshit is a greater enemy of the truth than lies are." - On Bullshit by Harry Frankfurt.

There's a lot of bullshitting and bullshitters out there.

It's not wrong if you have a bit of doubt, because it means you care.

rayeyo

awak, slamat hari raye.

maaf zahir batin yeh.

:)

salam2..

i lebiu.

..

I have to consciously remember to take in every breath, if not i'll choke.

When that happens, i vomit.

I can' t sleep and think properly.

I am craving for attention and need more reminders that everyone still loves me.

:(

Everything is just so distorted from where I stand.

I'm sorry.

i need help
seriously
eventhough
i look happy

all of it sucks

..

Sape ade google reader or other rss reader je dpt baca tadi.

Nyam nyam

eventhough tak puasa. black metal sepam..

post ubat raya

Kalau kat malaysia, getting some would be as easy as choosing the correct pharmacy.
Sydney, kna guna pntu blakang.

Criteria of a corrupted farmasi:

Family owned
Farmacist punya mak, or abang or adik, yg tolong2 but takde qualification ade dalam kedai
Banyak kedai farmasi, even dekat block yang sama.
Kalau dia boleh prescribe antibiotics, good sign
kalau ada org berbadan buff katik pendek botak masuk kedai famasi tu, then senyum
sterus nya mendapat ubat yg nama nya mungkin steroid, good sign jugak.

test market dengan bertanya dgn penuh yakin,

' ada ubat for concentrations/kurus/ADD tak?' sbb usually same base of ingredient.
kemungkinan pertama ialah merekemen ubat vitamin yg farmasi akan dapat komisyen. Ckp tanak, nk ubat medication.
Importantly, muka kena yakin. So before pegi, google nama ubat, kalau bleh tahu shortform dia, or generics2 lain...

Dia akan tanye ade prescription tak. Again silalah goreng. Cakap.

"alaaa lupe bawak. but i makan ni dr dulu. " or 'skang ni i outstation, tp i slalu makan yang 50g la'
Diorang tu manusia after all. PUSHHH buton sket, can can.

At least u'll get good stuff, bukannya some dodgy mix.
Has the same shit as speed. but I don't want the one for dancing.
I nak yg for concentration for those hyperactive kids, yeaa that one. Untuk buat thesis.

Med students, jangan kedekut ilmu. I know u know more about this.

post it to me ok. I need it.

BADLY

ok lah. bye. migrain

Migrain. Sakit die blakang kepala. Kadang2 tepi, kadang2 depan. Slalu kat blakang la.
hormonal imbalance yg terlalu teruk, dpt puasa sparuh bulan je. Meaning, extra subur.. no?

Raya pun sparuh bulan. Eh tak. Now dah raya. Haha. Slamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir batin.

Love your brain ppl. Jangan sumbat 1000mg of caffein sehari :)

Another Bertie

Great Music.

Darwin movie banned in US

Even the US is too religious about evolution. http://bit.ly/4Ex8AX ,

So how about Malaysia?

Too religious or too ignorant.

Remember this poll? Go figure.

Apakah pendapat anda mengenai punca kejadian histeria di SMK Tanjung Lumpur, Kuantan?

-Masalah mungkin berpunca daripada gangguan makhluk ghaib dan berkaitan dengan pembinaan bangunan baru sekolah berkenaan. 68.6% (6108)

-Masalah mungkin berpunca daripada tekanan emosi para pelajar dan guru, tiada unsur paranormal. 21.0% (1865)

-Tidak pasti. 10.4% (925)

Jumlah Undi: 8898

(utusan online)

Yay winter is over

Ok. A lame joke.

Sape tau jangan jawap (known rule of teka teki).

What bees make milk?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!

highlight for answers.

ps-long image inspired by smbc

Sudah la tu dengan Nur Kasih

I will not and never watch Nur Kasih FOREVER EVER. Hahaha. Make me. I dare you.

Bye.

Amir, Farid Hanif.

Dear amir farid hanif,

I miss you guys. I miss kicking and being kicked..Punching and being punched, wrestling, sepak trajang tendang tumbuk, wwf, wwa, i miss jerit sekuat hati sebab ada orang restart modem intenet, jerit sekuat hati sebab saket hati dalam kete asyik pasang lagu metal tahi, pecahkan semorang punye gegendang telinga, sampai2 rumah terus jerit, nanges jerit, gembira pun jerit, gado ngan amir setiap hari, betumbuk stiap hari, jeles dengan amir sebab amir terer banyak benda, then tanya hanep hawa gemok ke tak setiap sejam, tanya hanep hawa cantik ke tak setiap sejam, prasan2 dengan farid, paksa farid ajar gitar, wrestling lagi, i miss kena pinggirkan sebab hawa sorang je pompuan, tengok amir n farid gado, tengok amir n hanep gado, tengok farid n amir gado, gado gado gado. pastu bila pegi rumah orang lain, terus melekat 4 orang. SHIT extremely homesick. Balik nanti, semua dah lain kot. Tatau bila lak tu jumpa amir ngan hanep. I hate it here now.

Dengan ini menitiklah setitis air mata berhargaku. walaupun tak sweet sangat.





Physik... Die Scheinklausur from Amir Othman on Vimeo.

pop it

Nick je. Nick je. Haha.

4656

my eyeballs are falling out.

obedience

Ada banyak cerita dalam news, cerita pelik2 yang melibatkan seorang victim dan offender. Sexual harassment, kes kidnap etc etc.

Cerita2 akan menjadi lagi pelik, if mangsa actually ikut arahan/layan offender tu. Ada yg layan smpai macam ni,
ada yang layan sampai ada anak dengan diorang mcm kes Jaycee Lee Dugard.

Its hard to think, why in the world mangsa tu boleh layan and kenapa dia tak nak selamat kan diri. or bodohh nya, kenapa tak tumbuk, kenapa tak terajang, why so stupid. After a certain point, a kidnapper boleh biar je mangsa freely without worrying dia akan lari.
So, sebagai saintis kangkung blacan that i am, it comes back to a point which is, why do we actually follow instructions eventhough its as sick as killing other people or letting self being harassed.Why do we obey.

Cerita kes klasik, ekperimen milgram. by Stanley Milgram
(Obedience to Authority: An Experimental View 1974)

So dgn cerita ni, hopefully memberi insight baru tentang psychology mangsa dalam apa2 situasi pun.

So, ekperimen ni terdiri dari 3 org.


1. volunteer
2. pengeksperimen
3. subjek eksperimen (mangsa)

cite panjang, cuba di pendekkan..
Pengeksperimen, akan menyuruh seorang volunteer utk induce electric current dkt badan mangsa utk eksperimen memori.
Pengeksperimen tu kira mcm instructor atau supervisor experiment ni, pakai labcoat, dengan muka dan gaya penuh professional.
Mangsa tu ialah orang yang akan kena electric shock tu yang di induce oleh si volunteer..
Pemboleh ubah eksperimen ni ialah, voltage yang volunteer tu akan induce kat badan mangsa.

So, utk setiap round eksperimen, voltage akan di naikkan dan obviously sakit. Voltage maksimum, ialah 450V. Sampai tahap tu mangsa konfemm mati.

Any round, bila volunteer tu hesitate atau rasa bersalah, pengeksperimen cuma akan ckp

1. Please continue.
2. The experiment requires that you continue.
3. It is absolutely essential that you continue.
4. You have no other choice, you must go on.

so from eksperimen ni, 65% telah mengikut arahan sehingga volt yang paling maksimum.
and hanya sorang out of peserta2 eksperimen yang menarik diri below 300V call. Yang lain2 ekceli dah membunuh.

Ok sory kalau confuse. faham ke.. mcm ni. volunteer ialah org yg induce electric. so dalam cite ni ada 2 actual mangsa. Sorang volunteer yang mengikut arahan authority, sorang lagi mangsa yang si volunteer kasi letrek shock sebab mengikut arahan supervisor eksperimen.

Ini bermaksud, dengan adanya kuasa authority, manusia mampu membunuh or membuat mende2 lain diluar kehendak sndiri.

takde apa yang dipertaruhkan pun. Hanya authority org2 lab yang menunjukkan gaya mereka lebih tahu. tu je. dan kuasa yang ada pada "eksperimen ini adalah atas nama sains"

Ini baru seciput kuasa yang mereka sndiri volunteer. Mcamana pulak dengan obedience terhadap kerajaan, agama.. rela hati kah itu sbenarnya. or obey pada kuasa. Sbg manusia, kta akan campakkan diri kita kepada kuasa authority yang kita rasa lebih secure. Authority tu could be anything.

So untuk cerita2 mcam sexual harassment, i think, its never too late to report. Eventhough, pompuan, especially pompuan, akan rasa bersalah or malu, because why didn't i act against it in the first place...
I should have done more than just saying no. or saya taknak tp saya terlayan,jadi partly salah saya. So tanak lah report. NO. This is wrong. Kena report please. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Nasihat ni to me, to my friends and sape2 je. even lelaki.

Mungkin ada kes2 outlier yang pompuan tu memang gersang. tu lain cerita. But mostly and a significant majority mangsa ape2 akan ikut ckp penjahat tu, and will think its partly their fault. So they stay quiet. Wrong so many levels.


ps-Untuk makluman, mangsa electric shock tu semua adalah pelakon, dan tak mati. peserta2 eksperimen kemudian semua trauma slepas buat eksperimen, dan telah menyaman encik stanley.

im a hairdryer, and i...

Thump

I can't get enough of this.

Bertie Blackman- Thump

712

today's eye candy.

to tell you the truth

Morning everyone. Life is good with hiccups of sudden migraines.
Dah cube fikir reason kenapa nak kena pening kepala, most probably my eyes.
Takde reason lain kot.

Time is going by pretty slow for a very busy session. I guess its kinda good, in a way. Tak stress sangat mcm before.

I bought a mouse for 18 bucks. darab 3. sama dengan 54 ringgit.
Jenama pos ofis JE pulak tu. and tak wireless pon. plus gedabak mcm ice age.
Mouse shouldn't be expensive. spatutnya dalam 2 dolar cukup. haha. ok tak begitu logit.

by the way,

to tell you the truth......

551

Tertido dengan contact lens buat kali yang ke beribu kali. Luckily, dia tak pernah stuck kat blakang eyeball. Actually, for me, it would be even more dangerous. Sebab, i salah sorang yang bila tido. Mata tak tutup rapat. Either eyeball too big, or kelopak mata terlalu singkat. So.. sebab dia tak tutup rapat, dan kadang2 bilik pasang heater, moist dari contact lens akan vaporize dan contact lens menjadi kering. Pengalaman paling teruk, ialah dia kering dkat mata. Mata dah bukak sekerat. nak tutup mata tak leh sebab tajam, contact lens keras dah jadi silicon aka kaca. nak bukak besar2 tak nmpak. nak tarik keluar, dia melekat. I'm just waiting for a time, bila ade org boleh sponsor me, for a laser surgery. Kalau takpun bila da kerja. Next year ke. Tp banyak nye priority lain. Takbes nya. Will i even work next year pun? pfff..

Takde azam pun susah. banyak sangat azam pun susah.

the end

Saye rase kan.. ade org stalk saye. i know ni agak prasan n takot jugak. Tapi for shure its not you. Sbb you can actually bace and phm ni tanpa mnggunakn translator. I tak rase pengalihbahsa gugel boleh alih bahasa kan pekataan2 mcm... rase, ade, takot,prasan.. dan lain2.

476

Ignore this.

oh no oh no oh no...

i spent too much this month....

Tapi......... worth it!

happy kan org lain, happy kan diri sendiri dan lain2.... ye i know. ur most welcome. heee..

(insert muka comel here)


dan finally,

Finally, I've found you Mr Momentum, my love, my shining amour, my prince charming.
I've wasted one whole month looking for you. where have you been all these while?
Rugi tauuu.... OOhhh.. Ohhh... Mr Momentum, can u help me with my stats. U can?? ohhhh... thank youuu thank youuuuuu....... Ur so great and handsome too.
ohhhh.. mengapa. mengapa kita tidak bertemu lebih awal dr ini....

(ini adalah spoof, satire or u can say an inside joke)

Now, nak cari, Mr HipBone pulak. haha... but i know ur somewhere there, beneath the lemak2 burger di hips ku. ohh where are you my dear. don't be shy to come out.

6 september

lost in colors by hawa

I like painting tapi xde duit.

Tak sabar nak abis.

Finally some happy vibes.

Hungry : Acquired taste foods

Whoever loves and can eat all these by heart, please contact me. I am trying to search for my ultimate soul mate.

acquired taste foods that i love and miss

List includes,

stink beans
mr mo far kor
liquorice
cili padi
century egg
blue cheese
vegemite
wasabi
petai aka stink beans

This is not the end. I haven't included the big guns yet. wuuuuu.................

Hawa si belagak

bulat bulat

Lots of work, but now better since dah tahu arah tujuan.
Brain now ready, but somehow my body is not.


Otak : weh.. weh. jangan tdo.

Badan : Shadap u. penat kot minggu lepas stay up cam org gile.

Otak : Hey, biar la. haritu tak ready. skang dah ok sket.

Badan : Tanak jugak.

Otak : Pape lahhh.. whatever.

Badan : Loser.

Otak : 3d Loser ( yes menang)



Weather smalam summer and today is winter. Nice.

bulat bulat timbul by hawa

uw uwww..

kenapa kita ni terlalu human centered?

Kenapa kita rasa kite lagi hebat dari binatang2 lain.

you might say, sebab kita ada akal. Hak kita ke sebab kita ada akal, we are special. So we can kill, sbb hak.

Hak kita ke nak blagak dekat ikan ke, kambing ke kita lagi hebat? Hak kita ke nak bunuh babi sebab dia haram?

Phrase yg kita slalu dengar, ialah manusia ada akal, binatang lain takde.

The fact is animals vary in their degree of intelligence. Kira, bukan takde langsung.

Dikurniakan akal is one thing, claim itu adalah hak is another.

Belief segregates, doubt unites.

Ok. Hope you can read between the lines.

eventually it'll stop

Thank you you on a bed of choc chips by Hawa.

secebis punca

sila klik utk melihat secebis punca.