ok. azam nk kurus

ok blog post ade balik sbb exam is near. kindoff. thesis due date. drama build up. and needs to be released somewhere.

i feel so pathetic with my phobia. Phobia dengan orang2 yg involved in customer services. mcm operator, customer service kat supermarket or benda2 yang hampir mcm tu. I have no idea why hawa actually takut. Serious rasa pathetic.

If you are one of my close friends, you can notice if not before, that I've never done these things myself and very likely I've used you.

msti macam.. shera, tolong call kan. zek tolong call kan.. or fini, tolong call kan pleeease.
Sbb smata2 nak avoid the anxiety yg tak semena2.

I have never done a refund my whole life. Just sebab takut. Keberanian tu ade. tp die muncul kadang2.

Tapi tipu la takde langsung deal ngn dorang. ade je, tp kena topic2 yg ok. salah topic. anxiety disorder.

Before ni hawa x consider bende ni as phobia. sbb kalau takat bedebar2 before nak call, biasa lah.
or stakat rehearse the lines yg nak tanya kat operator tu before tanya, tu pun bende biasa. But bile smpai to the point rasa macam nak nanges. mcm rasa bodoh nye diri sndiri..

Mcam firza yg opposite ngn hawa ckp, my confidence comes in bigger crowds. Attention seeker yang sangat buruk. Tp bila deal benda2 remeh ni terus takde balls.

Tadi cm ade drama tahpape. semata2 hawa tanak call nak baiki credit card details.
nanges semua bagai. Dia memuncak sbb anas paksa suruh call, sebab sampai bila nak mcm ni. Kalau x prektis macamana nak improve. Sbb kena paksa tu. rasa lagi nk jerit. n lagi nk nanges. haha. last2 nanges.

Nanges, pastu pening kepala, pastu migrain. pastu last2 still tak call2 jugak.
hish cacat.

Rasa macam tengok diri sndiri dalam drama jerry springer, kumpul2kan orang2 yang ada phobia with weird things, like shoe laces la... belon lah.. haa.. rasa macam setahap ngn diorang.
pastu down. sbb boleh jadi wierdo yg masuk cite2 macam tu. besides the fact hawa boleh beliakkan biji mata and tadah kat tangan la kan. ok mengarut. inside joke dgn begitu over dengan diri sndiri.