ikan ikan hensem

Self awareness....

hawa nye self awareness, im not too sure. Seriously no idea how people really think of me.
Kadang2 perasan sangat, kadang lowest self esteem ever. So basically, xde idea sangat. I think this will come with maturity, slowly lah im getting there. Nak jadi confident in a good way.

Everytime tengok video of myself, i dont really like it. So maybe tu, petunjuk that im not there where im comfortable with myself yet. Ntah..

Some people sngt lah sedar of how they want to be perceived by society. Mcam stengah orang, they want to be seen, as humble and low profile. So orang2 mcm ni cuba utk tanak blagak.. cakap politely and merendah diri.

But when self awareness tak berapa ada, the outcome they want, sometimes x menjadi..

"saya ni tak sberapa lah sbenarnya, study kat us je... saya ada ni je.. tu jee... dan this and that JE"

which last2 bunyi dia mcam belagak. padahal motif asal nak merendah diri.

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on another note, hawa penah blajar pasal self awareness ikan..
sebagai seekor ikan yang lahir2... dorang takde idea rupa diri dia sendiri macamana...
sebab ikan punya mata dekat tepi kepala pastu ikan takde tangan n kaki so die mmg tanampak la die sndiri tu apa sbenarnya.

Tapi sebagai seekor ikan, dia tau la die ikan...
cuma, dia takkan tahu.. how attractive diri dia sendiri unless dia mencuba nasib dengan mengorat ikan lain.

Die akan tahu kedudukan kehenseman die sendiri, through rejection.
Sebab ikan2 jantan akan cuba mengorat ikan paling lawa skali dalam group dulu..pastu mencuba nasib.. lama2 through rejection dan acceptance. dia tau la dia nye kedudukan dlm tangga masyarakat ikan kat mana.

Mcam humans jugak la kan. Tapi manusia ada cermin. so cerita nya lain sedikit.



ps- i noticed, hawa dah naik sronok membebel. if bosan please tell ok. :)